


The Therapist Friend

by That_Adorable_Fox



Category: Cartoon Therapy (Web Series), Sander Shorts (Vines), Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: !!TW!!, Angst, Child Neglect, Dr. Emile Picani Angst, Everyone Angst, M/M, Mention of Eating Disorders, Multi, Mute!Logan, Nonbinary!Remy, Past Child Abuse, much angst, not me venting into Emile, this is my longest one shot oh god
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-28
Updated: 2019-11-28
Packaged: 2021-02-18 06:55:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,841
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21590344
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/That_Adorable_Fox/pseuds/That_Adorable_Fox
Summary: This started out as Emile Picani angst, because theres not enough of that. It evolved into everyone talking about their issues. In short, much angst. Hope you enjoy.
Relationships: (Archive hated me and didnt let me put all of the bois into one tag), LAMPER, Platonic Relationships - Relationship
Comments: 6
Kudos: 53





	The Therapist Friend

**Author's Note:**

> As I said before: this was only supposed to be based around Emile lol. Oh well.

Emile had started being the ‘therapist friend’ when he was 9 years old. It made him happy, to help brighten his friends’ days and make them smile. Everyday, if anyone wanted to talk at recess, he would sit in the corner of the playground, while some people came up to vent or ask for advice. Kids ranging from 7 to 10 would stop by to talk with him about their issues, or get things off of their chest. It surprised Emile many times every time a person he didn't know would come over. The person would ask if he was free and then sit down in front of him. Emile didn't think himself smart or philosophical, especially considering that he was only in 4th grade. But still, he would talk with them and help them out the best he could. After all, this was more attention than he got at home. Even if it wasn't focused on him, people were actually  _ talking  _ and  _ interacting  _ with him! And he helped those people sift through their feelings! Needless to say, it made him feel good.

By 10, Emile started researching all he could about how to help his friends. He kept a journal of the best tactics to ride out panic attacks, and how to help someone if they were being treated wrongly. He researched articles in gender dysphoria, anxiety disorders, and depression to try and understand those suffering better. By 10, Emile had become the unofficial therapist for his small elementary school.

By 11, more people asked to talk with him, and he happily obliged. He started keeping more notebooks for his friends, like how real therapists did. About this time, people started coming to him about family issues, friend problems, and their own toxic thoughts. Many times, Emile would set aside his lunchtime to talk with his classmates in the library. He felt good, bad, but good! After all, if you help someone else feel good, you  _ have  _ to feel good too. ...Right?

By 12, the feelings started weighing on him. Everyone's issues kept him up late at night, scrambling to finish his homework, as well as texting his friends to help them figure things out. He started doubting and thinking badly about himself more and more.

_ No matter,  _ he would think, as he texted Virgil with reassurances that he wasn't alone,  _ I can wait as long as I need to. I'm patient for a reason! _

By 13, he was swamped. Emile’s room was always too messy, and his bed was never made. People would come up to him, talk out their issues, then ignore him for the rest of the day, week, month, however long. Homework stacked up and up on his desk, usually turned in late with messy scrawl on the paper, or not turned in at all. But that was okay, as long as everyone else was smiling, he would smile too. One day, he approached Patton with questions for homework. He ended up texting him for over an hour about Patton’s parents, and how they were going through a divorce. He still completed the homework, though! And made Patton feel better! Even though he was tired as heck, and went to bed at 2 am. But that didn't matter.

By 14, he stopped trying to ask for help. After all, he could figure things out on his own. He had a brain, after all! What did it cost? A few breakdowns, slipping grades, spending lunch in the library to help classmates, as well as finish homework, but that didn't matter. As long as the papers get turned in, mom and dad won't care. 

At 14 and 3 quarters, Enile went to a birthday slumber party with Patton, Virgil, Roman, Logan and, the birthday person, Remy. The six chugged soda, ate candy, and watched movies until their eyes hurt. 

At 12am, Remy sighed.

“This year’s been fucking rough so far…” They muttered. “Don't get me wrong babes, being 14 is amazing, but 8th grade  _ sucks _ .”

_ It sure does…  _ Emile thought, smile falling only for a second.

“I feel ya.” Virgil said. “Uh, maybe we could do like, a group therapy activity? If you all want. It's like, you sit with a bunch of friends and then just vent. Each person gets a turn.”

“That sounds like a tea party.” Remy’s cheshire smile put Emile a little bit on edge. They nudged him. “Perfect time to activate your super power, sweetie.”

Emile chuckled. “It's no super power, really.” He looked around at his friends, smile only slightly out of place. “I'm down if everyone else is, who’s going first?”

“Well, it's Remy’s birthday, so I think they should go first.” Virgil shrugged. Logan nodded in support.

“...me? I don't know…”

“C’mon Remy. We won't judge, or tell anyone, okay? It's the Chatham House Rule: ‘what’s said in the room stays in the room.’” Roman said.

Remy sighed, running a hand through their hair. “I...really don't know. It's the usual shit, just getting misgendered a lot.” They crossed their arms to hide their chest. “Dysphoria’s bein a real bitch, though.”

“Aw, I'm sorry.” Emile muttered, giving them a little side-hug. “That sucks.”

“Welp, nothing I can really do about it.” They shrugged. “Mama doesn't really get it, but she’s trying. Dad’s still calling me his little princess, though.” They forced a chuckle. “If anything, I am a  _ queen _ .”

“I agree!” Roman grinned. “The most non-binary-est queen!”

Remy chuckled. “Thanks Ro.” They turned to Virgil, who was next to them. “Want to go now?”

“Um, I guess…?” Virgil brought his legs up to his chest. “It's...not really much. This voice keeps being mean-” he tapped his head, “sayin how I’m too privileged to be depressed and anxious ‘n shit.”

“Even if you’re privileged, that doesn't mean you can't be depressed.” Emile said. “It's like...it's like if some people asked, ''Why do you have asthma, there's so much oxygen?”.”

Logan snorted a little, and Remy murmured “okay boomer”, making all of them giggle.

Emile smiled. “See? It doesn't make sense. It's a sickness that has to be cured, sometimes it doesn't have a trigger.” 

“Yeah.” Virgil said, a smile on his face. “Thanks, Em.”

“Don't mention it!” Emile slapped on a big grin.

Eyes shifted to Logan, and the mute boy ducked a little under the stares. Remy put a hand on Logan’s shoulder. 

“You don't have to go if you don't want to.”

‘No, it’s fine.’ Logan signed. ‘I...don't want to talk about the bigger issues troubling me, I’m already working through those with my therapist…”

Virgil translated for his friends, and they all nodded in understanding. 

“Whatever you choose to say shouldn't make you uncomfortable sharing, Logan.” Emile’s mouth moved automatically, lines flowing out with ease. “You can talk about whatever you want to talk about, even if it's something that's deemed small.”

Logan sighed. ‘Well, there’s something else I wanted to get off my chest...I had an oral test earlier this week, and was non-verbal that day. Ms. Greene didn't seem to realize that I couldn't speak for that period of time.’ He hesitated only slightly before continuing. ‘She let me write instead, but brought my grade down four points.’

“Four points!?” Patton’s mouth dropped open. “For something you can barely control?! That's bullcrap!”

“Just say bullshit Patton.” Remy chuckled.

“I agree with Pat, Lo.” Roman said. “That's far too much for something like that.”

‘Yeah, I talked with my moms about it.’ A small smile formed on Logan’s face. ‘They got her suspended and my grade went back up.’

“Yes!” Roman grinned and pumped his fist up, making Logan flinch away. “Oh, sorry Lo. But I'm so happy for you!”

‘It's fine.’ Logan smiled a little bit. ‘And thank you all.’

“Good for you Lo!” Patton cheered, Virgil gave him a thumbs up and a solute.

“That's what I'm talkin about, babes!” Remy grinned and gave Logan a light pat on the back. Emile just softly smiled at him, he could feel this facade slipping away, after all, this was usually the time Sad Boi Hours™ started coming for him. “Patton? Do you wanna go next?”

“Ah...If you insist…” Patton was rubbing up and down Roman’s back, to comfort Roman and stabilize himself. “It's nothing too big...It's just been getting me down.” He took a little breath. “My parents...they finalized the divorce...and mum’s moving to Chicago tomorrow.” he whispered.

“Chicago!? That's…Thats so far away!” Virgil gasped.

Patton nodded. “I don't know how this is gonna work out…”

‘Everything will work out, Patton.’ Logan signed. 

“Yeah, it’ll be okay.” Virgil smiled. “We’ll always be here for you.”

Patton smiled softly. “Thanks guys.” After a moment, he spoke again. “Roman, your turn.” 

Roman sighed.

“...can I skip…?”

“You can, Ro. But we’re all here for you if you want to speak.” Emile smiled softly at him. “If it makes you uncomfortable, you can skip.”

“Agh…well...” Roman sighed and combed through his hair. “It's fine...just…” He let out a soft grunt and let his hand fall to his face. “I...um...have something to uh, confess…?”

“Confess away, sis.” Remy said.

“So…” Roman sat up and tapped out a rhythm on the carpet nervously. “Um…I was...struggling with an...eating disorder since I was like, 12…” he looked down to the carpet, trying to block out their worried stares. “I’ve been getting better, and help, but- _ agh _ .” He pierced his lip to try and stop the tears from gathering in his eyes.

Emile put his hand on Roman’s reassuringly. “It's okay Roman.”

He took a few deep breaths, trying to calm down. “It's just...shit...this feels so awkward...  _ god _ I'm sorry.”

Patton activated a hug piled and soon Roman was covered in his friends-except for Logan, who isn't very fond of hugs. He tried wiping away his tears.

“Don't be sorry, sugarplum. Cry if you need to.” Remy said softly.

Roman let out a shuddering breath, leaning back into his friends. “Thank you...I’m sorry... _ lord _ this is...I'm getting better, I promise but it's just so  _ hard _ .”

“It's good you're recovering, Roman.” Emile started. “Eating disorders are like valleys; it's really easy getting down the the very bottom of the valley, but getting back up to the top is even harder than going down.” Everyone pulled away and Emile grasped Roman’s hand. “But even if it feels like the climb is taking forever and ever, that just means you have a big peak of greatness ahead of you.” Emile smiled.

Roman gave a watery smile, drying the rest of his tears. “Thanks Em.”

“Don't mention it. If you need help, don't hesitate to come to me.” Emile smiled softly. “To come to all of us.”

“Here here!” Virgil said, a soft smile on his face. Remy nodded in agreement.

“Well, that leaves just one person.” All eyes shifted onto Emile. He glanced around awkwardly.

“Ah, that's alright.” Emile laughed nervously “I'm not one for sharing my feelings.”

“Babes, come on! Everyone’s done it.” Remy gave him a playful grin, but Emile could see the worry in their eyes. “You  _ never  _ talk about your feelings!”

“That's b’cause I don't need to.” Emile shrugged. “I figure stuff out myself.”

_ No one cares what you think. _

“I'm used to it.”

_ You don't deserve their pity. _

“I'm fine.”

_ You can't talk about you. That's not your job. _

“...Emile?” Remy waved their hand in front of his face. “Hey, are you there?”

“Wh-oh! Heh, sorry. Got lost in my head.” He grinned unsurely. “I'm fine.”

“...You’re not.” Logan muttered, his soft voice turning heads. “...Does it affect you...that you're the ‘therapist friend’?”

Eyes turned back to Emile and he tensed. 

“Um, not really…?” He shrugged. “It's really nice to help people out, y’know?”

“Yeah, but doesn't it weigh on you?” Patton asked.

“I...I guess it does...”

_ No it doesn't. Stop lying. _

“Not that much though!”

“Em, babes. Your not good at lying.” Remy said. “Does it affect you negatively?”

“I…” Emile sighed. “I...guess it does...I don't know. It feels good to help, but I'm just stuck with these thoughts.” He shrugged. “I shouldn't, but sometimes I just feel so alone.”

“Aw, Emmie.” Patton scooted closer and side-hugged him. “You deserve this time to just let out what’s making you feel so alone.”

“Yeah. Spill, what’s going on in that head of yours?” Virgil said softly.

“I...I'm just overthinking things again.” He muttered. “I feel like I don't have anyone to turn to myself to just talk with. I keep feeling like people are just using me as a venting bag but when I try to befriend them, they ignore me.” He sighed.  _ Happened once, could happen again.  _

“...What was that last part?” Roman asked.

“Um...I try to befriend them and they ignore me?” Emile panicked. He didn't say that out loud, did he?

“....What do you mean, ‘happened once, could happen again’?” Virgil asked.

“...Nothing.”

“Emmmm. Please tell us.” Patton frowned, worried.

Emile shrugged. “It's nothing big. My mom just vents to me a lot, as well as my dad.” He picked at his thumb. “That's...kind of all they really do. So I adapted and got used to it.”

“...They ignore you?”

“No! No they don't! They would never-” He cut himself off, looking back into his childhood.

_ When Emile turned 7, his mother came home day after day complaining about her work and pleading to Emile for advice about how to deal with them. She would talk shit about her coworkers and get really mad whenever Emile tried to interrupt her and talk about his day, or what happened to him. Emile’s mother would complain and complain and complain so much that sometimes she would break down in front of her son, and Emile would have to reassure her that ‘it's okay, you’re so much better than them’. She would just give him a smile and say thank you before stalking off to her room and ignoring her son for the rest of the day. He got really good at making frozen dinners. _

_ When he was 8, his dad would come home slamming the door and yelling his ears off to Emile about how stupid his clients were and how horrible their work was. Emile’s dad would throw open Emile’s door and scream at him while he tried to do homework, forcing his son to look at him if he refused. He wouldn't help Emile with his work, telling him ‘go ask your mother’ or ‘I'm busy, can't you see?!’ Emile would nod and back away into his room quietly, mulling over the homework until the next day, where he could ask a teacher. He got really good at masking his confusion. _

“...They don't ignore me…” He whispered, forcing tears back into his head. “They’re just really...really busy with their stuff. It's no big deal.” 

“Even if they’re busy, they should still make time for you.” Virgil muttered.

Emile shrugged. “It's fine, I'm fine, everything’s fine.”

_ No one cares about you. _

“No, it's not fine!” Logan cried, his voice the loudest anyone had every heard. He took Emile’s hand and squeezed it hard. “It's not fine.” 

“..Logan’s right, Emile.” Remy moved to wrap their arm around Emile’s shoulders. “It's not fine.”

Emile smiled softly, leaning into his friends. “It's fine because I have you guys.”

“Aaawww!” Patton grinned and hugged Emile as well. “Ems!”

Roman chuckled and Virgil rolled his eyes, both joining the hug pile.

“You guys are so cheesy.” 

“Shut up and enjoy the moment, Hot Topic.” Roman snickered. 

Emile laughed, hugging all of his friends. “I'll...try to talk to them about it.”

“Yes, please do Emile.” Patton said. “We’re here if you need support.”

“Yes we are.” Remy smiled. “And we always will be.”

“Thank you guys. I'm here for all of you as well.” Emile smiled, a warm feeling curling around his stomach at all of the (platonic) love.

“We know.” Roman said, “thank you, Emile.”

“I should be thanking you guys!”

“Everyones thanking everyone, and everyones thankful for everyone else. Got it? Great.” Virgil huffed, a playful smile on his face.

“Don't be so negative, Virgil.” Patton chuckled. 

“I'm being negative because we haven’t even started on Ready Player One yet and it's already 12:30am.” Virgil grinned. 

“Oh darlin, you’re right!” Remy gasped. “C’mon everyone, we have three more movies to get through before 7 am!”

‘Logically, we could do it, but shouldn't we get to sleep soon…?’ Logan signed.

“Sleep is for the  _ weak _ .” Remy growled.

“Says the person who won't get up until noon.” Roman said, a smile on his face.

“Hey!”

Emile smiled as all of his friends started quarreling. He reached for the remote and played the movie, relaxing back into the couch. Despite all of the laughter and noise, Emile fell asleep in the blink of an eye, a smile on his face.

_ I never, ever, want to go home. _


End file.
